I promise to be honest

It has been almost a year since I last blogged. Back when I was blogging a lot I really enjoyed it. But the more I got into the blogging world, the more I realized that the best blogs I read were written by people who had something valuable to say. They spoke of things that resonated deep down in a part of me that was too afraid to speak before. They made me comfortable to see beauty in imperfections and uncomfortable enough to challenge me to dream bigger. I became amazed at what beautiful things people had to say. I loved it. 

and then I hated it. 

I became struck with this fear that all of the sudden I didn't have anything valuable to say. So I stopped. 

Over the last year the Lord has shown me so many beautiful and terrifying things. I have seen people do things would have never known mankind was capable of (good and bad) and all the more through it I have been able to experience aspects of God's character that I never had before.   I am not a great writer and I am not an artist with words, but the Lord has shown me that I have stories to tell that are valuable. (So do you!) What I lack is the grace in communicating them. 

So in an effort to be better at communicating. I have returned to my blog. I can't promise you that anything you find here will change your life or be different from what you've heard before, but I promise to be honest. And that's really all I've got. 

P.S. To further my efforts of being totally honest, that coffee cup in the picture above is empty

fear, feathers and freedom

Six days. Six Days until I leave for East Asia. I can't believe it's less than a week away. It seems like yesterday that I got the e-mail that I was going. I wish I could tell you that finding out about this trip was a beautiful picture of obedience and that I was a faithful, trusting follower of the Lord, but in that moment, I was faithless. I cried like a child and wanted to hide. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to see the things that I will be seeing on this trip. Still don't. But here is what I've learned in the past 15 weeks, (and it has taken me every single day to learn it)


I am covered. 

 "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday." Psalm 91:4-6

I am covered by His grace, I am covered by His protection, I am covered by His plan for my life. The Lord does not make promises to his people that He does not keep. He has brought me this far and I am covered.

I don't know what my future looks like on this trip but I know that the Lord surrounds his people.

I have nothing left to say really. I am still at a loss of words that this trip is coming up to fast. Please continue to pray with me for this trip. I can't wait to tell you about it when I come home. Thank you all for your love and support.

A Letter to my [not so baby] sister

Hey little girl, you're sixteen today. Sixteen. First of all, I would like to congratulate you on surviving year fifteen. Fifteen will really put you through the wringer. (Ask Taylor Swift's friend Abigail.)

You have been on this earth for sixteen years and already have so much to show for it. You've been an extra in two blockbuster movies and been featured in a documentary by an award winning film maker. You have lived in five cities, across three states and over two continents. You have
surfed the Atlantic, Pacific and East China Sea. You are quite the adventurer.

I think anyone that meets you knows that you're brave, honest (sometimes to a fault), you can be harsh, and you're not afraid of offending anyone. You thrive on doing what is not expected from you, and you have very little tolerance for closed-minded people.Those are the things you wear on your sleeve. Those are the things you love for people to know about you. 

What you have to be your sister to

know:

- You care about people more than you want to show

- You hate to be in the spotlight

- You would rather be caught not wearing clothes, than to be caught crying.

- You would be the first one to stick up for anyone hurting

- Babies freak you out a little bit, but you love to do what scares you, so you hold them and play with them anyway

And the last thing, the thing you probably don't even know, is how proud I am of you. Katybug, you have got this whole world at your fingertips. You are strong and brave and you push me to do things that I would never dream of. Even though you are my little sister, in so many ways you are the one I most look up to. Your encouragement has really gotten me through so many difficult times and I am so excited that as you get older our friendship continues to get stronger. Not everyone is blessed with such a brave baby sister and I am so glad that I can call you such a dear friend. I am praying for you and I know the Lord has such an incredible plan for your life. He has and will continue to bring broken people into your life and I can't wait to see the way he uses your life to build the kingdom. It is an honor and a joy to have you for a sister. 

Happy sixteenth birthday, Katybug. Stir up some trouble this year.